Ever put all your eggs in one basket and then watched that basket come back to bite you? Or maybe you’ve burned a bridge while trying to cross that road when you got to it? Mixed-up Metaphors is the ultimate collection of delightfully mangled sayings—proof that even the wisest words can get hilariously tangled.

Concocted by childhood friends, this coffee table comedy book pairs each twisted turn of phrase with a custom illustration, bringing the absurdity to life one mixed metaphor at a time. Whether it’s on your coffee table, toilet magazine rack, or anywhere else superfluous literature lives, this book is here to ensure that the lack of thought truly counts.